A new study is revealing some reasons your non-believer family and friends aren’t open to hearing you share the gospel.

The study conducted by the Barna Group is called, “What Non-Christians Want From Faith Conversations.” In the report, most of the non-Christians who were polled knew a friend or family member who were believers.

Yet, they would prefer that somebody else speak to them more about the faith. One reason has to do with them wanting to engage in non-judgemental conversations.

“For instance, more than six in 10 non-Christians and lapsed Christians (62%) say they would be open to talking about faith matters with someone who listens without judgment—the top quality they value—but only one-third (34%) sees this trait in the Christians they know personally,” the study revealed. “Similarly, their hopes of talking with Christians who do not force conclusions (50% vs. 26%), demonstrate interest in other people’s stories (29% vs. 17%) and are good at asking questions (27% vs. 16%) appear to go unfulfilled.”

While many Christians intend to share their faith effectively, the data reveals that unbelievers may perceive things differently.

“…The data paints a striking picture of disconnection between Christian ideals of what it means to share faith effectively and the experience of non-Christians—and between non-Christians’ expectations of Christians and Christians’ perceptions of themselves,” the study says. “For example, though practicing Christians mostly agree with non-Christians and lapsed Christians on the traits that make a good faith conversation partner, they are more likely to emphasize qualities like being confident in sharing their own perspective (58% vs. 33% of non-Christians and lapsed Christian), exhibiting a vibrant faith of their own (57% vs. 15%) or helping others have a spiritual experience of God for themselves (53% vs. 13%).”

Even though a lot of Christians are excited to witness to others, this study reveals how important having a relationship and good conversational skills are.